Described as "the most sought after former Major League manager available," Eric Wedge will be the next skipper of the Seattle Mariners.
Is this the freakin' twilight zone? Are the motherforkin' vampires and werewolves running around? Eric? Wedge? I'm at a loss for words. Screw it. He's the M's problem now. Get ready for 127 different line-ups, your best young talent alienated by an unintelligent, abrasive schmuck and several more losing seasons. Good bloody luck.
Don't forget, Milton Bradley is still a Mariner. Maybe he'll punch Wedge in the mouth. Awesome.