When is the Year's Hottest X-Mas Gift a Sure Sign of Impending Doom?

WHEN TARGET STARTS SELLING MOTHERFORKING FACEBOOK GIFT CARDS!!!!!!  THAT'S RIGHT, ALL THE KIDS WILL BE GETTING FREE FARMVILLE BEETS THIS HOLIDAY SEASON, COURTESY OF SWEET, OUT OF TOUCH AUNT MILLIE AND HER ADDICTION TO TARGET SHOPPING.  I THOUGHT THIS WAS ALL A CRUEL JOKE, BUT I SAW THE LITTLE BASTARDS TODAY.  IS THIS HOW FAR WE'VE SUNK?  WE DON'T EVEN REQUIRE THOUGHTLESS PLASTIC DEBITS THAT CAN BE REDEEMED FOR REAL GOODS?  MINIMIZING GIFTING EFFORT & HELPING OUR FLOUNDERING POPULACE SINK DEEPER INTO VIRTUAL INSANITY IS COOL?  REALLY?  VIRTUAL GOODS?  THAT COST REAL MONEY?  (I THINK I READ THIS BOOK.)  THAT'S WHAT WE WANT?  MAYBE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.  MILLIE GOES INTO TARGET, GIVES THEM $50 AND GETS A TOUCHING, SKY BLUE CARD FOR LITTLE TIMMY.  TIMMY THEN USES THESE 50 REAL DOLLARS AS FACEBOOK CREDITS TO BUY UTTERLY WORTHLESS, NON-EXISTENT DRIVEL.  MIGHT HE NEED A POWER-UP TO GET THROUGH A PARTICULARLY DIFFICULT SUDOKU?  OR MAYBE HE JUST MUST HAVE THE NEW AB-FAB OUTFIT IN DRESS ME UP.  EITHER WAY HE'LL BE USING REAL MONEY TO GET IT.  THANKS TO AUNT MILLIE, WHO DOESN'T EVEN RECOGNIZE HOW SHE'S CONTRIBUTING TO THE DOWNFALL OF CIVILIZATION.  ANYONE WHO'S INTO THAT CAN GO DIRECTLY TO HELL AND NOT COLLECT $200.  SCREW YOU.  OUT.