Whistle Stops

Russell Branyan has missed 5 games since hurting himself eating pizza --

"On the off day last week, I took my family to a pizza parlor," Branyan said. "They had plastic chairs, and after we'd eaten, my little guy had kicked one of his flip flops off.

"I was sitting on the edge of the chair, leaning down to pick it up, and the chair slid out from under me on the cement floor. I landed right on my tail bone."

Still need to get rid of that stanky LeFraud jersey?  Scene Magazine has partnered with the Miami New Times to kill two birds with one useless piece of nylon.  Donate your tacky #23 to Scene and they will ship it down to South Beach where the New Times staff will personally walk the streets and gift it to a person in need.  Sounds like a great deal to me.  Maybe we could get them all to congregate outside the AAA before each Heat game.

Each day that goes by with Jake Delhomme gimping around on his oh-so-tender ankle makes it more difficult for me not to add an extra vowel sound to the end of his last name.  Maybe he should just man up and take the start against Ray-Ray and the Ravens?  That way, after his funeral, we'll still have a sub-par QB to start next week.  I've heard some prognosticators describe the scenario necessary for a Browns win as "hell freezing over."  At least CBS has decided to show me this week's game so I wallow in misery with the rest of the NC.

Cheers.