I wonder if anyone else will ever truly understand the final straw. Since nothing has innate value and only those things to which we ascribe worth hold any meaning, the details of my particular stalk of wheat are irrelevant. Let's say your priority was making money and you worked for Enron or you value child-rearing and your first born will no longer speak to you. Imagine if you were the last person to honestly believe that the world was flat. None of these would destroy you, but each would fundamentally alter your view of the world.
After an arduous agony of attempting to attune with the status quo (that is, playing by the rules), for the dismal and rejection to be so public and intentional demands that the course be reverted. I had been told to change my ways often enough that it lost all meaning. Having actually committed to integrating myself and having so colossally failed, I can only do what I should have since minute one: trust myself.
Get ready, it's gonna be a helluva ride.